Duo's Highly Dangerous Kawaii Chibi-fier
by Shini-hime
Summary: Duo builds a machine that turns people into chibis. Yay!
1. The Machine

Duo's Highly Dangerous Kawaii Chibi-fier  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Duo's braid.but I'm coming! Muahahaha! *brandishes scissors*  
  
Ch.1~The Machine  
  
***Prologue***  
  
Everyone living at the Winner mansion was terrified. Most people might think this meant a bomb threat had been found, or the colony was in the path of an incoming meteor, but this is definitely not the case. It would take more than that to scare the Perfect Soldier and his fellow Gundam pilots. No, something was taking place that was much, much, more sinister, and could mean the destruction of the universe as we know it. Yes, it has happened again.  
  
.for the past week and a half, Duo has been locking himself in the science lab, not coming out for anything, surviving on the millions of snack bags he brings in with him. No one knows what may be brewing in there, aside from the obvious pot of coffee or two. But it is certain that whatever lies beyond the closed door, cannot be anything good for the residents of the Winner mansion.  
  
  
  
"Finally! It's finally completed!"  
  
Quatre R. Winner attached the last wall to his 3-D puzzle. This was no ordinary 3-D puzzle, however. It was a 4-foot-tall, fully detailed, lights-included Arabian palace. Four towers stood around the main structure, which had exquisite arches and columns built into it. This was a one-of-a-kind, $400 3-D puzzle set, crafted specially for Quatre's last birthday. And ever since his birthday, five months ago, Quatre had kept the puzzle safely stowed away in his closet. He knew that if he had opened it before, Duo would have been there in an instant, breaking the delicate lighting system and peeling off the stickers.  
  
But Duo hasn't been out of that lab in over a week, so it was safe for me to open it. Just to be safe, though, I'd better make sure it's protected when he does come out.  
  
Quatre pushed the table over to an open glass case on one side of the room. Carefully, he lifted the tray his puzzle was resting on off the table and into the case. After he closed the glass case, Quatre took the added precaution of activating a motion-sensor security system around the case and its precious contents.  
  
Now let's see Duo get to it, Quatre thought.  
  
  
  
The next morning, everyone was up bright and early as always. Heero and Wufei practiced their fencing moves in the hangar, and Trowa worked on some modifications to Heavyarms. Quatre started in on the day's paperwork, then took a break for breakfast. All the Gundam pilots made their way into the dining hall eventually, and breakfast was served: french toast, scrambled eggs, cereal, and orange juice.  
  
Quatre tried to spark up a conversation. "So, Heero, last week's mission sure was a success, right?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Wufei, your swordsmanship looks great! Have you been practicing?"  
  
Wufei glared across the table.  
  
"Hey, Trowa, when's the circus going to be in town again?"  
  
Shrug.  
  
So Quatre decided it was futile to try to get any of them to say more than three words, and made up his mind to enjoy the silence while it lasted. Except it didn't last long.  
  
Suddenly, a gigantic explosion rocked the mansion, and a tremendous shockwave hit the room. All the dishes and uneaten food hurtled down the table and splattered right onto.Wufei's face.  
  
"Maxwell! Kisama! This is the last straw! I'll wring his neck and throw him out the window! I'll.." Spouting profanities and mindless threats, Wufei took off in the direction of the science lab. The rest of the pilots were not far behind him. Upon arriving at the science lab, they could see it didn't look pretty.  
  
"Oh no," Quatre whispered as Heero located the door to the lab.crumpled against the opposite wall in a steaming lump of scrap.  
  
"MAXWELL!!!" Wufei roared as he stormed through the doorway to find and kill Duo. The rest of them carefully stepped over the debris scattered all around and entered the lab.  
  
"Oh no," Quatre said as they walked past the multi-million dollar computer monitoring system which was now blackened and burnt, completely useless.  
  
"Noooooooo," Quatre moaned at the sight of years of hard research and work ruined, half of it completely vaporized, the other half burned beyond recognition. Quatre collapsed to the floor and started sobbing. Suddenly, a shout filled the giant laboratory.  
  
"EUREKA!!! I've finally done it!"  
  
Duo jumped out from behind one of the ruined gadgets. He was covered from the end of his braid to his shoes in ash. And in his hand, he held a small remote-control.  
  
Heero immediately grabbed Duo to keep him from escaping. Then his gun magically appeared from spandex-space. "Omae o korosu. Baka." Duo squirmed in Heero's grip.  
  
"Hey, wait a sec, don't kill me yet! Don't you want to know what's going on? Don't you want to know the cause of the explosion? Or what I've been doing all this time? Or, more importantly," Duo grinned , "where I keep my world-renowned collection of snacks, including the king-size Twix!"  
  
Heero smiled ear to ear (o.O). "Twix.the yummiest candy of all the yummy candies in the world." (A/N: Heero has an affinity for chocolate. o.O) Heero lets Duo go.  
  
Duo brushes himself off. "That's better. So come on this way." Duo headed off in some various direction. Trowa pulled Quatre off the floor and dragged him with them. Soon they arrived at what looked to be a big pile of metal and wiring. Duo pulls aside lots of metal to reveal a capsule, just large enough to hold one person. "This is what I've been working on the past week and a half. I just finished it today!"  
  
Quatre wiped his eyes off and said, "Duo, I can't believe you've done this to my mansion! This is what caused the explosion? Even you can't do this much damage without putting at least some thought into it!"  
  
Duo was working on connecting some wires and replied, "Nah, the explosion was something else. I left my burrito in the microwave to finish something here and it exploded." Everyone sweatdrops. Duo connects the last two wires and lights all over the capsule light up. "So now, without further ado, I give you Duo's kawaii-enhancing chibi-fier machine!"  
  
*******  
  
Thank you for reading, minna-san! I'll write the second part soon! 


	2. Chibi Wufei

Duo's Highly Dangerous Kawaii-enhancing Chibi-fier  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Duo's braid.but I'm coming! Muahahaha! *brandishes scissors*  
  
(A/N: lots of sweatdropping.)  
  
Ch.2~Chibi Wufei  
  
..."So now, without further ado, I give you Duo's kawaii-enhancing chibi- fier machine!"...  
  
"But, Duo, what does it do?" Quatre asked. Trowa nodded.  
  
Duo replied, "Well, now, then, this little puppy can do zero to seventy in under two seconds and it has an optional attachment that squeezes orange juice!" Everyone sweatdropped. "But really, this is a very dangerous weapon and could cause havoc if it's used in the wrong hands!"  
  
"Guess we'd better take it away from Duo, then," Heero grumbled. All of a sudden, Quatre noticed something was wrong.  
  
"Hey, guys, where do you think Wufei is? Don't you think he'd have found Duo by now and would be strangling him?"  
  
Duo grinned. "Actually, my brilliant strategic mind figured Wuffy would be coming after me, so I set a trap. Which he fell right into, I might add!" Duo threw open the door of the capsule to reveal Wufei hog- tied with a gag in his mouth. He undid the gag and Wufei started yelling.  
  
"MAXWELL! Of all the injustices! Release me from these bonds so I can kill you that much easier!" Duo put the gag back on, and the yelling ceased, although Wufei did start turning a maroon red.  
  
Duo faced the three sane.well, only semi-sane.Gundam pilots and said, "Quite kindly, Wuffy has agreed to be a guinea pig for the first trial run of my invention!" Wufei turned a darker red and glared at Quatre. Quatre sweatdropped and shrugged.  
  
(A/N: Wufei is going to combust soon, if Duo doesn't stop. ^_^)  
  
"And now, the Chibi-fier!" Duo slammed the door closed and threw a lever.  
  
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Duo did his best evil scientist (Dr. G) impression. Everyone got big sweatdrops. The machine lit up and made loud clunking noises, but you could hardly hear them over the sound of Wufei screaming. Strangely, though, Wufei's scream kept getting more and more high-pitched.  
  
"I bet it turns him into a girl," Heero offered. Everyone sweatdropped.  
  
Finally the Chibi-fier quieted down and stopped flashing. The door popped open and out stepped.  
  
"Maxwew! You shaw pay for thith! Wook at what your hideouth mathine hath done to me!" Yes, what came out of the machine was not Wufei.it was the absolutely adorable precious huggable squeezable Chibi-Wufei that talks wike thith! Chibi-Wufei was only two and a half feet tall and he was glaring daggers at Duo.  
  
Duo was ecstatic. "It works, it works! Yay yay yay yay yay!" Everyone sweatdropped.  
  
"So, Duo, your machine turns people into SD, miniature versions of their former selves?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Not only that, but it also shrinks their brains, too, so they get really crazy! Cool, huh?" Duo replied.  
  
All this time, Heero was quite easily holding Chibi-Wufei back from killing Duo. Quatre noticed this and quickly suggested they go get some food. Surprisingly, Chibi-Wufei forgot about Duo and raced towards the kitchen.  
  
  
  
"So, um, Chibi-Wufei, what would you like to eat?" asked Quatre. Heero got a big chocolate candy bar and started eating it.  
  
"I wants a biiiiiig bowl of strawbewy ithe cweam!!!" shouted Chibi- Wufei. Quatre looked at him strangely. Chibi-Wufei glared and said, "C'mon! I wants my ithe cweam!" Quatre sighed and got out the ice cream. Meanwhile, Heero finished his chocolate bar and went looking for his bag of chocolate gummy bears.  
  
Chibi-Wufei received his ice cream and dug into it. Duo noticed the ice cream and went over to try to steal a taste of it. However, Chibi-Wufei was being quite protective of his precious ice cream.  
  
"Meany Duo! Twying to steal my ithe cweam! Take thith!". And Chibi-Wufei threw the whole bowl of ice cream at Duo.  
  
"YUAAAAGH!!! It's COLD it's COLD it's COLD!!!" Duo jumped around the kitchen, flailing his arms. The strawberry ice cream slid down his head and down the back of his shirt. "YUAAAAAAAGH!!!"  
  
Trowa sighed. "There'll be no stopping them now. I'm going to go stay with Catherine for the weekend." Trowa walked out of the room. By now Duo had somewhat recovered from the ice cream-down-the-shirt and was chasing Chibi Wufei around the kitchen.  
  
"I'll kill you, you monster! No one messes with my hair!"  
  
"Yew can't catch meeee..! Yew can't catch meeee..!"  
  
"RAAAAARGHH!"  
  
"Mister Duo's fathe looks wike a strawbewy, too!"  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"  
  
*POP*  
  
"Huh?"  
  
And there, on the floor, sat a maniacal, enraged non-chibified Wufei.  
  
"Maxwell!"  
  
Duo, realizing the possibilities of becoming lunch meat, opted to beat a hasty retreat. Right into the private drawing room where Quatre kept all his valuable, breakable items. Of course, Wufei followed.  
  
"Maxwell! I'll throw you into that machine and see how you like becoming a weakling two-year old!"  
  
When he entered the room, Wufei found that Duo was nowhere in sight. However, Quatre's expensive 3-D puzzle no longer had a glass case on it and alarms were going off all over the room.  
  
Now, Wufei was an intelligent, above-average person. So when Duo was nowhere to be found and the giant, hollow 3-D puzzle was disturbed, he naturally put the pieces together. Not the puzzle pieces, though. In fact, they came quite apart as Wufei pulled out his gun and shot several rounds into the puzzle.  
  
"Die, Maxwell, die!" "Muahahahaha!!!!"  
  
The rest of the Gundam pilots just looked away from this unusual display of emotion. Then, the 3-D puzzle collapsed completely, revealing the huddled form of Duo, who miraculously escaped injury. Unfortunately, this was not to last.  
  
Until now, Quatre had been trying to avoid getting involved with the rampaging pair. However, when he saw the sacrifice his beloved 3-D puzzle had made, he could not stand it any longer.  
  
"You.you.fiends!!!" The other pilots looked over to the blonde, seeing instead of their pacifistic friend a raving maniac.  
  
"You ruined my dining room, blew up my lab, and now.now, you've even destroyed my puzzle I worked so hard to complete! Get out of my house!!!!"  
  
Duo and Wufei took the cue and quickly left the room. Gathering their belongings, they exited the house and started on down the road.  
  
"So, Wuffie, looks like we'll need to get a hotel!"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"C'mon, Wuffie."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"But."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
And they continued fighting as the night grew dimmer, and all through the countryside the mutterings of "Shut up" resounded.  
  
  
  
Owari 


End file.
